She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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