And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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