Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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