hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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