My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
