You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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