Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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