i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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