his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
