Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
