Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
