4 words: hood of his car
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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