If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
