i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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