Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
