Girls should come with a carfax report
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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