he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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