i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
