Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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