why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
