Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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