Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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