In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
