so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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