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And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
