I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Randomize
