doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize