College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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