I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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