Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Randomize
