I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Randomize
