well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Randomize
