Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
You ruined the universe
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
