Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
