i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
