do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
My day in three words: secret purse cake
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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