I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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