The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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