hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
