in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
it was like his penis was on wheels.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
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