Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
