So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
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