dude i'm inner monologue high
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
