We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
