Buhtt sex?
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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