I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
