Dual....:-)
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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