I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
