Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
