So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Someone came in the potted fern
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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