thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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