It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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