My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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