ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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