I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Two words: blizzard sex
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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