I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
wow bdsm is so cute
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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