I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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