Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
