Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
