I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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