he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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